Second Best

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I've never chased the crown, I've always settled for second best. 
I just realized this. 
And I have subconsciously been doing this on purpose. 
Not thinking I deserve this. 
Like a subconscious punishment for myself, because I was always programmed to believe that I was unimportant, always unrecognized and unvalidated 
I linger just below my peak, a shadow of what I could be 
Because I never believed that I deserved to be on top. That was for other people, not me. 
Or was it really because I was told that was all that I could be? 
And thus, that's mostly what it's always been for me. 
And now, I'm scared to be amongst the best, 
To really put myself to the test. 
But- lightbulb moment -
NOT ANYMORE 
I figured it out, without a doubt 
Now I'm finally going to settle the score!
From now on, I will strive to be more! More than ever before! 
Because myself, I've been learning and yearning to adore 
And WOW! Who could ask for anything more?...

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